Size Five Games

SIZE FIVE is a BAFTA-winning indie video game developer.

You can check out the games we've made below, find out a little more about us here, or join in our snazzy forums here.

My email address is

You can also totally follow me on Twitter:

Won a BAFTA, then.

Nov 282011

All a bit weird, to be honest. Last night, Size Five Games was honoured with a BAFTA for our sex ed shoot-‘em-up romp Privates.

If you go here and click on Learning- Secondary, you can see video footage of my bewildered, flabbergasted form stumble through an acceptance speech and interview. I don’t remember doing any of that.

I had a list of people to thank in my top pocket, but no one else was unprofessional enough to need cheat sheets so I decided to DO IT LIVE, and as a result completely forgot to thank most of the people on my little list. Excusable, I hope; it’s all a complete blur, I’m amazed I even managed to stand up properly.

So then, huge thanks to Chris Simpson and Andy Hodgetts who did all the clever code and stunning art.

Our actors Ryan Hurst, Dan Wheeler and Fiona Sheehan for their hard work and brillo performances.

Khanh Nt who did all our squelchy sound effects and Nik Sideris who did our amazing music.

Everyone at Channel 4, even the lawyers I guess. In particular Gemma Brady and Jo Twist.

And of course Alice Taylor, who commissioned the damned thing in the first place, despite the fact it’s a game about vaginas.

I also forgot to thank BAFTA. Whoops. Sorry, BAFTA! Thank you so much, BAFTA.

There’s probably more still. Thank you, if you did a thing on Privates.

It was an amazing night. Nigel Planer was there! I stormed up to him and told him how The Young Ones and Filthy, Rich & Catflap had such a massive influence on me, and then I told him where the toilets were. I shook John Craven’s Newsround’s hand! Magical!

Back to work, then.


  1. Nov 282011

    Congrats! Quick, raise the price of TGP and BTDT. :)

  2. Nov 282011

    Congratulations! Your Privates made it big! ;)

  3. Nov 282011

    I can’t believe that interviewer just kept asking “Where do you get your ideas?”

  4. Nov 282011
    Jo Roach,

    Marvellous! My hope for the future of BAFTA and telly is renewed! Well done everyone who worked on it :)

  5. Nov 282011

    Congratulations! It’s thoroughly affirming to discover that it IS possible to make a career and win prestigious awards by doodling cartoon cocks and sperm. In your FACE, Mr Griffiths, 3rd form geography teacher!

  6. Nov 282011
    blanched mind,

    Congratulations! Did you get to keep the face- sculpture-trophy? Maybe the award would get a cameo in The Swindle… Looking forward to future works. :D

  7. Nov 292011


    Well done folks.

  8. Nov 302011
    Neil Tuckwell,

    I don’t often take this commenting step, indeed this may well be my first, but as a proud Tollertonite, Mr Marshall, I doff my hat. Congratulations to you and all your team.

  9. Dec 12011
    Geoff Wells,

    well done to you and all your team,I do look on even at a distance
    keep up your good work,

  10. Dec 22011

    re: “Hacked Off” post, because I’m afraid I don’t visit your web site every day, and was surprised to find that Zombie Cow was gone (after a walkthrough thing linked to it, since I was wondering if I’d in fact completed BTDT/TGP! or if there may’ve been bright and shiny secrets missed).

    hacking mini-games… don’t like because they’re rarely hacking. same reason I hate “hacking” in movies.

    so… idea… getting things to happen in the right order in a program is vital. sometimes more vital than knowing wtf you’re doing with the rest of the code.

    so… provide people with code snippets. and they have to just put them in the right order to get the expected output. sort of like math and the order-of-operations. oh wait… they’re supposed to *enjoy* the minigame. sorry. nevermind.

    (well… who knows… maybe try it with pen and paper and people will find it fun… especially if there’s extra code in there that you have to comment out… as usual…..)

    Oh, and congrats on the BAFTA!

  11. Dec 22011

    In specific, good work!

  12. Dec 102011

    There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right? ;) Because Daily Mail suddenly got interested:

  13. Dec 112011

    POSH MARMALADE from here on in!

    Congrats all round. brilliant.

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