Size Five Games

SIZE FIVE is a BAFTA-winning indie video game developer.

You can check out the games we've made below, find out a little more about us here, or join in our snazzy forums here.

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Archive for the ‘Stupid Idiot’ Category

Behold the Kickmen Development Diary #00005

Oct 262016

You’re probably wondering what’s happened to Kickmen. It was a silly little game that was supposed to be ‘done’ in a month and is now, what, where is it, even? Well, people liked the look of it so I had to put effort into making it. It’s not quite there yet, and I’d rather it […]

Behold The Kickmen Development Diary #00004

Jul 272016

Jesus Christ I can’t believe I’m still making this damned game. It started as a fun little diversion and then people liked the look of it and had expectations and eugh pressure. The end’s in sight, though. The game’s been through a few testers, who all went “yep, it’s a football sort of game. It’s […]

Behold The Kickmen Development Diary #00003

Jun 132016

Hello! I NEED YOUR HELP. So, Behold The Kickmen is finally playing really nicely. The AI are good, it ‘feels’ like old-school Sensi or Speedball, and I’m now fixing bugs and making it funny. One of the things I did to make it funny last thing on Friday afternoon was to record myself shouting into […]

Behold the Kickmen: Development Diary #00001

May 52016

Hello there! As you may have heard, I’m now making a little football game, despite knowing nothing at all about football and not really liking the sport or the people who used to walk past my bedroom window at 11:30 at night after the “big game” shouting “WAAAAY-OOOOH, WAAAAY-OOOOOOOH, WE DID IT, WE DID THE […]

One Decade

Apr 252016

I’m counting today as Size Five Games’ 10 Year Anniversary. Although I started learning to code some time in 2004, my first paid-for release Gibbage came out exactly 10 years ago today. Back then it was Zombie Cow Studios, a company name I despised from the off and people still tell me was better then […]

Size Five is Hiring: PIXEL ARTIST

Mar 312016

Hello there! I’ve got a SMALL PROJECT on the go that needs some gorgeous Pixel Art. It’s a tiny thing so a few weeks’ worth of PAID work, but honestly you can kind of take your time with it and fit it around whatever else you’ve got going on, there’s no massive hurry to get […]

Refusing to Lower the Price of The Swindle: An Analysis

Jan 112016

I don’t have a massive burning conviction about game prices particularly; we all love a bargain. I’ll pay full price for something I know I’ll love, but it’s nice to try other stuff when it’s on sale. That’s fine, that’s human nature. It’d be hypocritical to denounce sales while yumming up some new experiences myself. […]

Advice to youTubers and Streamers, from a Dev

Jul 302015

Hello there! As you may know, I recently released The Swindle. It’s doing really well thank you, lots of people love it and it’s getting great reviews. PHEW. We’re all in this together – you’re good for me because you help spread the word of my game, and I’m good for you because I save […]