Children on trains are too fucking annoying to go in the Minor Annoyances thread.
Charlotte and I were on a train yesterday, and we were the only people in the carriage. This guy and his annoying-as-fuck son walked through (he was a loud, weasly little 8 year old on crutches), and the dad says "Let's to the loo, then, and then we'll sit here", pointing at the seat directly next to ours.
Terrified at the prospect of having to sit near a fidgety, loud little prick for three hours, Charlotte and I hatched a plan. When they came back and went to sit in that chair, we started having a conversation with the most swear words in it ever. "He's such a fucking arsehole", "I know, did you see him fucking that hooker? It was such a fucking disgrace. You could see her cu--"
"Come on, Timmy. Let's move further down the train."
"I thought we were going to sit here, Daddy?"
"No no, let's move down."
"Why are we moving down, Daddy?"
"We just are."
"But why, Da-"
We felt a bit naughty, but it worked a treat so was amazing.
What's the naughtiest thing you did this weekend?